butter and sugar first
then milk and eggs 
then dry ingredients
into the oven 
i want someone to remember that we woke up crying for different reasons and had sex and made cake about it. 
i want someone to remember that i'm quiet inside and loud on the outside 
(but i'm the only one allowed to say i'm dusted in cocoa and mixed with condensed milk) 

i might change my name 
(again) 
soon, 
something browner than this. 
i might flavor how i'm met 
to match the blood in my gums 
that i spit out in the morning when i brush, 
cardamom and clove, 
five spice and rendered fat 

i want someone to remember i am experimental 
a variation on a recipe 
for mixed-baby hair