Words to Strip From the Vocabulary
After I got rid of <i>offense</i> from the vocabulary of children in a previous post (vaguely Orwellian, I know), I recall how I excised the word <i>fair</i> from the household some years ago.  I made the kids stand up at the dinner table if they used it (which is not effective for hyperish kids like our twins), typically in phrases like <i>"That's not fair"</i>.  The kids just used <i>riaf</i> (yes, fair spelled backward) as a substitute for "not fair", but it put the point across that one should not be expecting equal treatment, no matter what society promises.<p>
Of course, this bothers lots of people, but my point is that you should not be <i>expecting</i> something that you are never going to get, as it just breeds a long stream of disappointments that tear the happiness from life.  Also, it may prevent the universal sin that many people have of <i>being demanding</i>, especially in matters that make other people's lives miserable.  The only thing worse than being unhappy is to build your own happiness from "happyy bits" you have torn away from other people.  You must help other people be happy, which will actually add to your happiness as well!  (Sounds syrupy, but it is true.)<p>
Wanting the best for yourself and of yourself is one thing, <i>demanding</i> it from others is quite something else.  Of course, as parents training children, one must impress upon them how they must behave.  You can't treat children (especially your own) like little adults with rights they have not learned to handle!